Wiggle Worm

22 weeks was the first time that I absolutely was positive I felt the baby move.. The last couple months of my pregnancy she was such a wiggle worm! There would be times I'd be sitting at work and if I was wearing a shirt with a pattern on it, people would walk by and see my whole entire belly move!! Hahaha... That is weirdest feeling in the world.. And at the same time you love it so much! Most nights, Charlotte would have herself a boxing match inside of me! Hahaha... I think she was teaching herself tae kwon do! That.. Or she was doing burpees to keep herself in tip top shape! Hahaha..I remember her movements being very percussive... If I had sound effects built into my belly, there would have been constant noise!!
My pregnancy was pretty uneventful... I didn't really ever have any complications... Thank goodness! I was terrified that I was going to come back positive when they screened me for gestational diabetes!!! Luckily though, everything was fine! I did have low iron for most of my pregnancy though... I had to get my finger pricked every time I went in so they could check my levels... They put me on this high iron prenatal which made me throw up..so then we switched to just a heavy iron supplement... Even with all the red meat I was eating and the iron supplement.. I was still a pint low on blood at the end because of all the iron I was missing! My body just did not like iron!!!
The last couple weeks that I met with my doctor everything seemed to be going really well! At 35 weeks I was 75% effaced and starting to dilate.. 37 weeks I was 80% effaced and dilated to a 2... My last appointment I was 38 weeks and 3 days.. I was still 80% effaced and almost dilated to a 3... The doctor asked if I wanted my membrane stripped.. Which I said I didn't care..so he decided to just stretch out my cervix to see if we could get things moving a little more... The next day I had some cramping, which turned into contractions about 10 mins apart by midnight that night... Steve and I went for a walk in the park at 1 am to see if we could get the contractions to speed up.. We went home and I was going to take a shower and get ready to head to the hospital.. Well then everything just stopped.. Hahaha.. Go figure! So the next morning (Sunday), I started having contractions on and off every 10 to 15 mins... I went for a run, I walked like 3 miles..nothing! They just kept coming every 10- 15 mins... So Sunday night when we got home Steve and I had a 'wrestling match' as our doc called it.. Haha.. We'd heard that was the ultimate trick for inducing labor and Steve had been avoiding it because the thought of doing it when the baby was so low in my pelvis freaked him out!!! Hahhaha..guys can be such wussies!!
Well...Monday morning I woke up about once an hour with really strong contractions.. About 7 am I decided to start timing them.. By 8 they were 10 mins apart, by 9 they were 5 mins apart.. So I decided I should get Steve out of bed.. He got up and started doing work on his laptop and when I saw him sitting at the table, clickety-clacking away like it was just any other day, I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack! My contractions were getting stronger and faster and here he was taking his own sweet time! Hahaha.. To be fair, I was making a conscious effort to remain as calm and collected as I possibly could, so as not to freak out my poor husband.. Haha..I think when I woke him up I mentioned that we would need to go to the hospital "before noon".. Which really meant before 10... Haha.. By the time we left for the hospital my contractions were up to 3 mins apart and my head was going a million miles a minute! We called the doc on the way to the hospital and they told us he was out of town.. Just my luck! Steve's mom ended up calling his house and leaving a message on their machine (they are close friends with the doc).. I think the only thing that terrified me more than getting the epidural, was not getting the epidural!!!! Haha.. The whole way there I was so nervous that we would get there too late and they wouldn't be able to give me the 'juice'.. Ha..
We showed up to the hospital and checked in at 10 am..I remember the walk from the car to the labor and delivery desk was the longest walk of my life! Haha.. I had to stop every few minutes when a contraction would start, so I could focus on breathing.. Steve was basically dragging me the whole way..hahahah.. As we approached the check-in desk, the lead nurse said, "So are you here for a tour?".. In any other situation, I would have realized she was joking with me, but I was so past seeing any humor in my pain at that point!
They took me back to a delivery room and the nurse explained that if I was not dilated to a 4 within one hour they would send me home and have me come back later.. I assume that they have a lot of first time moms who go to the hospital too early to do anything.. The nurse checked my cervix and with a surprised and slightly impressed look told me I was at a 5 and they would admit me and get my epidural right away! Hallelujah! I had made it!! Haha.. The anesthesiologist was busy with another lady, so I had to wait about 10 mins for him to come in.. Once he got there they had me lay flat on my side while he inserted the needle.. Steve held my hand and watched as he did this.. I could hardly feel the needle!!! Have you seen those things?! They are huge! So the fact that I couldn't feel it was a miracle! Oh and I'm pretty sure they put 'Felix Felicis' in those epidurals! Those things are magical!!  Almost immediately the potion took effect and I had to have help getting my legs situated..from there it was just a lot of waiting and checking and waiting.. Finally about 4:30 pm the nurse said we were ready to push.. She said my doctor had shown up and was going to help with delivery..  Yes!  At 4:55 pm on June 25, 2012 , Charlotte Bowman was born weighing 6lbs 14oz and 19inches long..

Time Is A Silent Speed Demon

Time.. Don't you catch yourself getting lost in the constant stream of busyness? And just when you realize what is happening you are slammed to the present with a sense of longing for the past... You are left with a case of whiplash that stings with the regret of things you did not do..Why is it that time is so slippery? Just when you think you are getting a hold of things.. You think you can stay in the moment, stay focused on the important things, make your Time last longer.. But no one can pin Time down.. Time is a shadow.. A faint impression of things that have already come and gone.. You have to trick Time into giving you the most out of life! Always stay one step ahead so you don't get left behind... Plan for the future so that when it comes you are ready to leap!

Perfectly Still

There are times when I think If I sit perfectly still, I can freeze time.. and the simple treasures,that you find in little moments throughout the days and years, will never have an end!! Since my last post we have been given the most precious little soul to care for! I cannot believe that I thought I knew what love was before that exquisite little girl was placed in my arms eleven weeks ago!! I'm not only talking about the love that I have for Charlotte, or for Steve (who I come to love even more every time I see him holding his darling baby girl), but the love that our Father in Heaven has for us in entrusting us with his most glorious creations! I know that he loves me with even more love than my human body can feel for my perfect little daughter! And that brings me to my knees in utter humility and gratitude! I haven't yet documented these most incredible experiences from the past year and decided that it was about high time that I do it (this will take place through several posts)... 

Last October, Steve and I had decided that we were ready for a new adventure. I was working at Del Sol and had always wanted to do another internship with them somewhere, so we started looking into doing that as a couple. I had been off of birth control for over a year and had not missed a single period, so we both figured that, for whatever reason, we weren't meant to have kids yet (if at all) and that we needed to get used to a life with the possibility that Kaden would be our only child. We started the interview process with Del Sol and had our final interview Oct. 26th. They told us they would let us know by the end of Nov. where they would be sending us and when we would leave.... I was fairly certain we were moving to the Virgin Islands on the Island of St. Thomas and we were getting really excited about the prospect of living in Paradise for a few years!! The following week, I was supposed to start my period and didn't. I figured maybe it was just a little late and that I would start any day now... One more week went by and I started getting pretty nervous.. I didn't know what was going on and was worried something was really wrong.. Steve told me to wait the weekend and take a pregnancy test Monday morning (because it was better to start the week out knowing if I was prego or not). Monday morning, Nov. 14th, rolled around and no period... so,  I got up early, making sure not to wake Steve as I walked upstairs (past my parents with the pregnancy test in my pocket feeling like a 20 pound brick) and went into the bathroom, feeling terrified about what life would be like when I came back out. I got the first response digital test, because I didn't want to have to decode any signs or symbols.. I wanted a 'Yes' or a 'No'... As I waited for the test to process, I was silently freaking out!! I had taken a pregnancy test almost exactly one year prior to this and it came back negative when I was absolutely convinced that I was preg... only to start my period the very next day..so what was I going to do if the same thing happened this time?! The previous year I was only one week late and at this point I was two weeks past due... I figured if I wasn't prego, I needed to see a doctor pronto, because something was seriously not right... I went over to the counter, sweating like crazy, feeling like my stomach was in my throat! I looked at that little oval screen on the test and saw the one word that would change my life forever!! 'YES'! I tiptoed back down stairs like nothing was different from any other day... I walked over to Steve (still snoozing in bed, completely unaware of the insanity going on inside me!) and said, "Babe.." "Hmm", he responded with his eyes still closed. "We're gonna have a baby!", I said with all the control I could muster. What he did next was more perfect than I could ever have imagined! He opened his eyes and a big smile spread across his face.. "Really?!", he said in the sweetest most excited voice I've ever heard! I bent down and hugged him and he pulled me onto the bed.. hahaha.. 

I went to the doctor's office the next day and sure enough, there was a little bean inside of me! We had agreed that we would wait until Christmas Eve to tell the family. We were planning on doing it as our talent for my family's Christmas Eve Talent Show. That was only 6 weeks away and seemed like a manageable time frame to keep such a secret... For myself at least.. Steve on the other hand, could only keep it between us for another three days. Friday night of that week, we were sitting on the couch watching a movie with my parents and little sis, when he decided he couldn't take it anymore and pretty much blurted the whole thing out to them!! hahaha.. that kid! The rest of the family knew by Thanksgiving (except Nate, whom we told when he called home on Christmas). 

I remember the first time I heard the baby's heartbeat.. Like a little truck engine.. haha.. I made Steve record it on his phone and everyone thought it was a car when we would play it for them... The first time I saw our baby, I was 13 weeks along and went in for an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok after I had had some bleeding... I can't even describe how happy and excited I was to see this little being inside me!! I knew right then, that this little angel was the best decision I ever made! Or didn't make..hahaha..

Up until we found out the baby was a girl, Steve insisted that it was a boy! He even made me read about it like it was a boy..haha.. We started talking about names.. all of the boy names that he liked, I didn't... and vice versa...As for girl names, we liked Charlotte and Brooklyn.. he was always leaning more toward  Brooklyn, but for some reason, I really felt she should be named Charlotte... so I told Steve I'd make him a deal, If we could name this little girl Charlotte, he could name the next little boy whatever he wanted (Troy James).. So, Charlotte it is! 

Pregnancy was not what I thought it would be.. for almost all of my pregnancy, I still felt like myself! There was never a time that I was uncomfortable in my skin, or felt like my body was completely foreign...The first trimester I was constantly sick to my stomach, but almost never threw up... I lost about ten pounds during this time because I could never eat...  I do remember that I would have spurts (a few days at a time) when my belly button would be extremely sensitive and painful! It felt as if it was being stretched side to side and being pulled away from any ligaments it was attached to on the inside! It was to the point where anytime I would move, it would kill! I wanted to be shirtless all the time, because just the shirt fabric grazing my navel was excruciating! I would say that was the worst part for me.. that and the horrible gas that would get stuck in my abdomen! haha.. I know.. I know..

But even if it were the hardest, most miserable experience of my entire life, it would all be worth whatever time I have with the most perfect little being I've ever met!

I've decided i'm a dreamer... I have hundreds of things that i want to do and only one life to do them in.. so i'm 22 (almost 23) years old.. if i live to be a hundred that's 1/4 of my life almost.. if i live to be 80 (which i think is a good age to finally kick in the bucket) , that's almost a third of my life.... so i figured it's about time i come up with a bucket list... only i don't want to actually call it a bucket list, cuz everyone else out there has one! Therefore i shall call it my list of dreams...

Things that i want to accomplish in this life...

1. I want to be a successful hairstylist.

2. I want to become a published hair and makeup artist.

3. I want to go sky-diving.

4. I want to go to Culinary Arts School.

5. I want to reach my full potential in dancing.

6. I want to compete in the Mrs. Utah America Pageant.

7. I want to teach at Paul Mitchell the school.

8. I want to get six-pack abs.

9. I want to have a baby girl.

10. I want to invent something and have someone use it regularly.

11. I want to go back to school and get an Associates Degree.

12. I want to travel the world! (Italy, Belize, and England at the very least!)

13. I want to move back to California.

14. I want to own a beautiful home.

15. I want to have a miniature slider turtle.

16. I want to be the kind of mom that mine was.

17. I want to own a corvette.

18. I want to see a Broadway play.

19. I want to be best friends with my j-club for my whole life.

20. I want to have a love like my grandparents.

The fragile balance of life

Life is HARD!! Thursday night (Dec. 30, 2010) my grandpa parmer passed away. He had been battling cancer for almost a year and with it many many complications. Outfall from his chemo and other medical treatments included a bout in the hospital with pneumonia, two hip replacements, and traumatic loss of weight which ended in an ambulance rush to the hospital wednesday morning. For awhile they couldn't get any fluids into him, but after being stabilized, they placed him in the icu. When my mom called on wednesday i didn't really think anything of it. Grandpa was the toughest guy i knew! He was a fighter and stubborn as could be! He broke his own leg on the four-wheeler once and acted like it was no big deal! haha.. So thurs. morning when dad called and said grandpa wouldn't make it through the day it broke my heart in an instant! It had been in the back of my mind for a few months.. we saw him the end of august when my cousin jordan got married and that was when he came down with pneumonia.. i knew he wouldn't be around for a long time, but i really didn't think he'd go so soon!
He was the only grandpa that i have memories of in this lifetime. And he more than made up for the job of two! I remember climbing up on his lap while he would sit in his big rocking chair.. it was my favorite place to sit! He'd always call me his little julie.. He had the best sense of Humor and not only that but he was cleverly witty! I loved going to visit because he'd always let us go out and adventure with him! Collecting eggs, feeding the horses or pigs or geese... He was always active and i loved that about him! He was never too tired or too busy to play with us! He would always let us have whatever treats we wanted! And no matter how old we got, his coke machine in the garage was always so fun to get drinks out of!! He always had the best advice and he loved his savior more than anything! No one ever questioned what a strong testimony he had of the gospel! He was such a romantic and he loved to spoil grandma in every way he could!! He was so funny because he would buy grandma nice jewelry all the time even though he knew she wouldn't wear it! Guess he knew it was the thought that counted! haha.. He let us build clubhouses in his tool shed and run his fourwheeler and his yard to the ground!! Course he got after us when we got into trouble.. but we always knew that he loved us! He always let us change the channel on tv... unless it was sunday football.. football was important! haha..last time we were there he showed us his collection of belt buckles!! He was really good at collecting things! He had a closet full of the same type of plaid shirt, suspenders, levi's, and boy did he love his boots!! I don't think i ever saw him in anything but cowboy boots! haha.. he even wore them with his suit to church! i loved it! He had a smile that could light up the room! And when you heard his laugh you knew it was true! He would let anybody in! No judgement! No questions asked! He made everybody feel like family! He had such an open heart! I will miss his hugs! And him telling me that he loves me! I will miss sunday calls at my parents house and riding in his little truck and summer camping trips and seeing his loving face!

Tuesday Nights..

Tuesday Nights are Steve's night for his bowling league.. so.. tuesday nights i get to watch glee, and dancing with the stars .. most of the time i say that i'm going to get caught up on my laundry while watching my beloved shows, but 9 times out of 10 i just zone out on the couch... haha.. ya that will show you how much self control i really have.. haha..

So i fell in love with my first Paul Mitchell product last week.. it's a line called Awapuhi.. it's derived from the awapuhi plant that is native to the hawaiian islands.. and it is simply divine!!! so as most know, i put highlights in my hair a few months ago and bleach is incredibly harsh on your hair.. so my hair has been in pretty dreadful shape for a little while.. anyways, you wash your hair with this awapuhi stuff and magically it feels like silk for days!!! i'd recommend it for every single person i know!! what? you have amazing hair already? this product will make it 500 times better!! silkier, easier to manage, shinier!! you bet! what? you don't have any hair? who cares? rub it on your shiny bald head! at least it will be moisturized! haha... ok... you get the point.. anyways.. you want some? ok.. i'll get it for you..

Another Try

*So.. I tried to do this whole blogging thing once before... and it really didn't work out so swell.. but.. I've decided to give in to the plea of many and give it another try.. So today I found out that I am being let go from Sprinkler World... It was kind of a shock, but at the same time I expected it... With the new salon that i'm working at i can't be at SW the days that they really need me there... it kinda hurt, but it was also kinda exciting and a big relief.. I really need to focus on being the best hair stylist that i can be.. it will be much better for me to not have to juggle two jobs and try to keep my home together and accomplish everything else that i need to do from day to day..
*I guess the thing that had gotten me down about blogging before is.. i never know what to blog about... haha.. so.. what is it that you all want to hear? I guess i could tell you all about my fascinating and extremely vivid dreams.. hahaha.. ya this will be entertaining for sure..
so last night i'm snuggled up to steve with my head on his chest and right after we get comfortable.. i'm all of the sudden on the back of a vespa down on center street in provo.. it's a wonderful summer day, the breeze is perfect, and i'm holding onto my man.. as we drive by this beautiful flower garden, i reach my hand down and brush my fingertips along the tops of the flowers.. as i swing my hand back up, i look down at it and their is a gigantic triantula on my wrist!!!! My heart drops to my stomache and i jolt awake!
*hahaha.. oh my gosh i had a serious heart attack!!! haha.. steve felt me move as i was dreaming and then i almost knocked him out as i jolted awake!! he said i had only been asleep for like 6 seconds... i didn't even realize that i had fallen asleep.. oh man it was crazy!
*Alright, so then i woke up this morning after dreaming that my fam and i were down in jamaica for the olympics and there was an end-of-the-world earthquake and the earth was crumbling apart and we had to run and jump across ten foot crevices and then we all met up at this elementary school because that was the only safe place.. and yeah.. the jamaican bobsled team was there with us too.. haha.. anywho.. hope you enjoy my first real post.. check ya later!